Mister Micawber

A Proclamation of the Anti-Human League


We, the freely assembled creatures botanical and zoological of our fecund Mother, Earth, and the most precious and serendipitous configurations of the glory of our Father, the Universe, do with this document heap anathema upon the rogue beast, incorrigible Man, and ostracize him from the family of God, citing the following only partial enumeration of his infinite offenses:

    (1)    That he hath dug deep and thoughtessly for all Earth's riches, despoiled hillsides of their green, deserts of their solitude, oceans of their fishes, for the sake of oil and gold, and taken all for himself alone;
    (2)    That he hath burned the land and hewn the trees and poisoned the soil, robbing us of our sustenance, to grow his own food, which mildews in his warehouses and is hoarded against his own starvelings;
    (3)    That he hath fornicated and overbred, in spite of delaying death, greedy for ever more life than is his share;
    (4)    That he hath willfully twisted Nature to produce unnatural substances and things that do eat our atmosphere, infect the land, and burn and poison our minds and our bodies in an hundred thousand ways:  CFCs –the depth of the ozone hole over Antarctica is now less than 100 Dobson Units;  polyurethane – free molecules bound for ever in inertness. New Jersey boasteth a hundred and seven hazardous waste sites. Louisiana hath released 450 million pounds of toxic chemicals into the air, the water, the land and underground;
    (5)    That he hath abducted us and carried us rudely from place to place, upsetting the delicate structure of our existences like a crow in a spider's web:  mongooses in Hawaii, pigs on Mauritius, house sparrows in New York, lampreys in the Great Lakes, Dutch Elm disease, ad infinitum;
    (6)    That he hath driven many of us from our homes forever with fire and axe and unnatural machine, and that many of us have been utterly destroyed for all Time – Passenger Pigeons, Carolina Parakeets, Eastern Timber Wolves – our names are legion that will never breathe on this good Earth again, not even at the End of Ends;
    (7)    That he hath builded more than he needed, dug more than he needed, paved and overlaid more than he needed, in order to mindlessly rectangularize the fragile beauty of the Earth and destroy our homes and livelihoods;
    (8)    That he hath led us into bondage to serve his needs and desires;
    (9)    That he hath murdered us willfully and wantonly for his profit and his vanity and pleasure, and for simply that we were not of use to him;
    (10)    That he hath greedily seized the lands meant for all, by the hectare, and then given it back, by the square centimeter, as he did to his own forebears;
    (11)    That he hath strived to create weapons ever more horrible, that destroy not only his brothers but every living being on God's Earth;
    (12)    That he hath treated his own as he has treated all of us:  that is, abominably.
   
And for all that, he hath accomplished or created not a single, solitary thing beneficial for our planet, but only despoiled it, raping it and depleting its wonders. He hath indeed a low and unnatural mind and no hope for salvation from the ultimate wrath of the Universe. He is anathema, anathema, anathema.